Before you write me off as a 30 year-old spinster with slight feminist sympathies, I want you to know that I still believe in love. I believe in romance and my little girl heart longs for it—just not with a man. I mean, it does, but at the same time I’m still shattered from my mom’s two divorces (read post). I know that godly men exist, love their wives, teach their children about God, and desperately seek to live a life worthy of the Gospel of Christ. I am fortunate to be acquainted with such men. However, I am not intimately involved with any as either a daughter or a lover.
Oh, but how I enjoy a good romantic novel (I recently discovered romance novels with Christian characters have come a looooooong way since) or a chick flick! I feel happy (and slightly jealous) when a husband professes his love for his wife or vice versa. I do want to know that kind of love, even if my hard heart is fighting tooth and nail against it.
And, love, oh love—what shall I do with you? I mean, I love my parents, my friends, my pets, and of course, God. But those are different kinds of love than loving a man, than giving my self wholly to a man in the holy mystery of sex. (Yes, I’m saving my stuff for the altar, if I ever reach it!) For those of you who have been fortunate to find love, hold it close, even when the feelings fade and the commitment is what counts. Be committed to being committed. Singer/songwriter Andrew Peterson compares marriage to “dancing in a minefield” in his latest album, Counting Stars. Sounds scary to me.
There’s another reason I believe in love…and that’s because God is love. God cannot separate Himself from love because that is what He is. Love is His nature, His character, and His totality. In fact, when I consider it, how can I know love at all? God is so vast, deep, wide, and unfathomable—so love must be the same. We mere mortals try to tie it up with ribbons, flowers, cards, and boxes of candy. But have you ever stopped to consider that simple expression we’ve seen a million times above the Salvation Army or slapped on the bumper of a car? God is love. If we take time to really let that sink in, it should change our entire view of God…and love.
And Love came down in the form of a helpless babe and Love lived a perfect life, died on the cross, and rose again. Love truly conquers all—it just depends on your definition of Love. My definition of love is high because it is God. I even believe in the clumsy kind that we humans mirror because we are made in the image of God. I have to believe in Love, because I believe in God.
I’m doing a rare Sunday post because it’s Valentine’s Day! Woot! And I’m single! Double woot! Hear my story of heartbreak, redemption, and peace here on Atypical Musings: “A Valentine’s Day Musing:: He Loved Her.” Guaranteed to bring a tear to your eye.
And check out this other Valentine’s Related Stuff from Backseat Writer & Atypical Musings::
I’m a Pennsylvania girl who lives a hop, skip and a jump from Lancaster County, so I no longer gawk at Amish or Mennonites in their plain clothes and buggies (though I do get excited about the horses). Growing up with knowledge of the Amish, I was eager to dig into Suzanne Woods Fisher’s book, The Choice, which is the first in her Lancaster County Secrets series.
The story follows Carrie Weaver, who plans to run off with her sweetheart Solomon Riehl to live the “English” life. That is, to leave the Amish (“plain”) way of life. However, after the death of Carrie’s father, plans change and she marries a man she doesn’t love, inherits a family she comes to adore, and finds herself challenged spiritually and emotionally by the Miller family’s cousin, Abel (who is an Amish-raised hottie).
An appealing strong-willed survivor, Carrie is a far-cry from the meek, shy women I’ve encountered on my Lancaster journeys. But, then again, Carrie is in her element—interaction with an outsider to the Amish world is much different than what happens inside its cloistered walls. While every Amish (and Mennonite) district has its own rules for governance, The Choice offers a glimpse into the practice of Rumspringa, shunning, marriage, and of course, a good ol’ Amish barn raising. (What’s a book about Amish, fiction or non-fiction without a good barn-raising?)
Suzanne Woods Fisher pulls together a good plot complete with great characters, and a little peek into the Amish culture. Actually, I was surprised I enjoyed The Choice so much and I would definitely recommend it to other readers, particularly those interested in “Amish-themed chick lit.”
*This book was provided for free for review by LifFuse Publicity and Revell Books.* Enter to win a signed copy of the book!
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Ladies, when a guy doesn’t call it’s not because he’s too busy or out of town for a mother or in a coma following in a tragic skydiving accident. The truth is this—he’s just not that into you. Or so says bartender Alex (Justin “The Mac Guy” Long) to lovelorn Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) as she tries to make a love match with a man who’s clearly not interested in her. As Gigi navigates the murky waters of singleness and dating, her co-workers Janine (Jennifer Connelly) and Beth (Jennifer Aniston) deal with relationship problems all their own. Add in a very sexy yoga instructor/wanna-be singer named Anna (Scarlett Johannson) and her friend Mary (Drew Barrymore) and you have the female cast of Flower Film’s latest chick flick, He’s Just Not That Into You (2009).
While the movie could quickly deteriorate into a gushy chick flick/soap opera, He’s Just Not That Into You instead focuses on various types of love relationships within a core group of people, who are only separated by a degree or two. Gigi tries to find true love while seeking advice from a cynical, know-it-all bartender while Beth’s loving boyfriend (Ben Affleck) just won’t ask her to marry him after seven years of dating. Anna is having an affair with a married man (Bradley Cooper), who just happens to be Janine’s husband. There’s also the guy Anna is fooling around with named Conor (Kevin Connolly), who was the guy that didn’t call Gigi in the beginning of the movie. Not only is he friends with Alex, but he also buys advertising space from Anna’s gal pal Mary. Confused yet? Believe me, it makes much more sense when you watch the movie.
Not only does this He’s Just Not That IntoYou play on female archetypes—the virgin (Gigi), the whore (Anna), the [wanna-be] mother (Janine, who also mothers Gigi), the damsel-in-distress (Gigi and Beth)—it uses its female archetypes dynamically to enhance the plot. Each woman plays her part masterfully, following expected and unexpected paths to arrive at a greater knowledge of self. Gigi, who is the movie’s main protagonist, owns her idealistic notions about love and in turn, becomes her own rescuer. Furthermore, the naivety that seemed to make her weak empowers her to rescue another lonely heart. Gigi’s narrative carries the plot as the other women experience romance, heartaches, break-ups, break-downs, and happily-ever-afters.
This star-studded ensemble cast presents the story of woman in love with men—all types of women and all types of men. In one or all of these characters, viewers can see parts of themselves as the desperate woman waiting for a man to call, the husband with the wandering eye, the guy who’s given up on love, and a frustrated 30-something waiting for a proposal. Like Gigi, we all hope for a happy ending. Fortunately, He’s Just Not That Into You has a few (and a couple of not-so-happy ones as well).
By Amy Sondova Finally, a book for the single woman about dating—written by a woman who actually goes on dates. Kerri Pomarolli’s Guys Like Girls Named Jennie (Zondervan) is a fresh approach to tired old singles books. Instead of bogging readers down with dating tips, Kerri takes us through her dating history—detail by excruciating detail. This comedienne/actress/author writes conversationally and more importantly, realistically. Reading each chapter is like sitting down for a smoothie with Kerri as she recounts her latest dating disaster or plans her next great romance.
Being a single woman myself, I found Kerri’s forthright attitude about dating, courtship, how the church views singles, and trying to find God’s best to be so true. In fact, Kerri says the things the rest of us are thinking, and she communicates her message through humor. For example, she writes, “Doesn’t it seem like all Christians get married right after puberty? I mean, if you’re twenty-five, a Christian, and single, people need to be lifting you up in prayer.” Exactly. Kerri tackles these issues head-on, refusing to hold back, and readers will love her for it.
It’s not just the humor that makes Guys Like Girls Named Jennie so enjoyable; it’s Kerri’s ability to break down her experiences with a dose of humility and vulnerability. When she goes too far into a relationship emotionally or physically, she is quick to admit her folly. “Okay, it’s a given that I never made it through watching an entire movie with a boyfriend without some massive make-out session…” she writes while seeing a man she refers to as Mr. H. It doesn’t work out with Mr. H because he doesn’t share her convictions, nor does it work out with Joshua or Doug or Rob or many others. In fact, one of Kerri’s relationships ends with a stalker from a Christian dating site. Ouch! Towards the end of the book, Kerri winds up starting a relationship with fellow comedian Ron, who is clearly the best of the lot (though Kerri does date some pretty amazing eligible bachelors).
Perhaps the most touching parts of the book come when Kerri dares to ask the questions on the hearts of women like, “So, God, are you saying I can’t handle a boyfriend right now? Am I so much more ill prepared for marriage than all of my friends who are married?” She even touches on a very sensitive issue—what if there is no Mr. Right for her? What if God’s best doesn’t come? Interestingly enough, I would have never imagined that a beautiful woman like Kerri would have any so many dating foibles. Sure, she has little trouble getting dates, but a lot of trouble finding the “right” guy for her. From the beginning of the book until the end, Kerri grows from a girl who wants to date a Christian man into a woman who only wants a man after God’s own heart (one who will pray with her and for her).
Whether you’re single, dating, married, or divorced, Guys Like Girls Named Jennie is a book for every woman at any time of her life. Kerri’s experiences are laugh-out-loud funny, heart-breaking, real, and also offer insight into the heart of God and His love for His children. Incidentally, Kerri’s story does have a happy ending. Find out what happened between her and Ron at her personal website, kerripom.com.
Spring is in the air, and you know what that means? More roadkill! Deer, birds, rabbits, and other creatures are so twitterpated that they’re ignorant of things like roads and vehicles. Blinded by their instinct to mate, our animal friends leap to and fro ignoring their surroundings…and end up dead…on the side of the road.
Such is the case with many guys who don’t know how to treat a lady right. After a date or two (if it even gets that far), they become romantic roadkill. The stench of their dating defeats is strong. So, guys, I don’t want to leave you in the dark on dating, I’m here to help you meet the woman of your dreams. And I’m making it all up myself. Yeah, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.
Step #1 Get a date. Times are a’changin’, but from where I’m sitting the guys are still responsible for doing the asking. Every woman knows you’re scared to ask her out–do it anyway. She’ll admire your courage and might give you a pity date even if she’s not at all interested. It’s really much harder for girls who have to sit around looking beautiful all the time waiting for guys to make the first move. A lady doesn’t want to read romance novels; she wants to live in one (minus the raunchy stuff.)
Step #2 Go on the first date; bring flowers. Many people falsely think that a bad first date can make or break a relationship. So not true. Awkward first dates are the hallmark of fun, especially when you can look back as a couple years later and laugh about it. When you try to show the other person the “best side” of you, instead of the real you, what can you expect but a bunch of blunders and laughs?
Guys, don’t be cheap. She’s not a primadonna or anything, but she does want to know that you care. Bringing a bouquet of flowers, even if you picked them yourself (especially if you picked them yourself) or some other sort of amusing/thoughtful trinket is appreciated. Flowers make her feel beautiful and that is a big struggle for women.
Don’t forget to tell your date how amazing she looks, even if she looks horrible. If you really can’t think of anything nice to say about her appearance, say something like, “It’s really nice to see you tonight.” That’s true, right? You did ask her out so I hope you’re happy to see her.
Step #3 The Big Goodnight. Unless the date was terrible and you are thinking about moving into another zip code to get away from this siren, go for a hand kiss. It makes a girl feel like a lady. You respected her purity and showed interest. It is a polite gesture that has all but disappeared from our society (except in nursing homes when young ladies get hit on by old men–that’s a another story for a another day).
Step #4 Call her, dangit! Look, there are all sorts of “time lines” for calling your date. Just do it. If you think she’s sitting by the phone waiting for your call, she’s not. She’s out with her cell phone waiting for your call. Don’t play stupid games. If you like her, ask her out again. If you’re not interested in going out with her again, make that clear during “The Big Goodnight” or on the follow-up call.
Step #5 Go on a second date and so on and so forth. This is fairly self-explanatory. If a break-up should occur, mend your wounds and then head back to Step #1 when you’re ready. Make sure you’re ready. Your new date doesn’t want to be regaled with tales of your ex-girlfriend.
Step #6 Propose. On bended knee–don’t be lazy.
Step #7 Get Married.
That’s the basic outline of meeting girl-marriage. Follow it; live it; use it or end up roadkill.
In Part 2 of “Helping Guy Meet Girl”, we’ll take an in-depth look at how to talk to girls and striking up that all-important first conversation.
By Amy Sondova w/ Melissa Brown A best-selling album, a GRAMMY nod and several Dove Award nominations, a new marriage, and the Feb. 26 release of sophomore album,Opposite Way—that’s a lifetime of accomplishments for 19 year-old Leeland Mooring, frontman of the band, Leeland. The band’s first album, Sound of Melodies, was heralded by audiences and commanded attention and respect from the pillars of the Christian music industry, including Michael W. Smith, Casting Crowns, Switchfoot, and Chris Tomlin.
In addition to the band’s namesake, the band is comprised of Leeland’s big brother, Jack Mooring (keys/vocals), the Mooring boys’ cousin Jake Holtz (bass), and friends Mike Smith (drums) and Mike Campbell (guitars). In hot demand, the band has been touring nearly non-stop for the past two years, which has given them a lot of time to craft an album that continues the excellence that excited audiences in Sound of Melodies.
Just as Opposite Way’s first cut was just being released to the media, Melissa Brown and I had a chance to sit down and chat with the members of Leeland, who despite being 19-24, were intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally mature. Perched on a seat neat to me was Leeland, who rolled up my business card and stuck it in his sock during the interview. Despite his apparent disdain for paper objects, he was surprisingly attentive and well-spoken as were the other band members. Next to Leeland sat Mike C., then Jake, followed by Mike S., Jack, and finally Mel.
Jack took special care to make sure that questions were answered accurately and appropriately and helped moderate discussion. Jake, one of the youngest members, was amazing and forthright, often making the everyone laugh (especially Leeland) while the duo of Mike’s were less talkative, yet insightful. Passionate about raising up a generation of worshippers, Leeland the band was eager to talk and even nicely shared the microphone.
START TRANSMISSION
Amy: I’ll start with Leeland. Everyone loves the fact that you’re 19. Youth workers love the fact that you’re young. What kind of response have you had from youth workers about ministering to teenagers?
Leeland: What’s really cool is when we get to minister at church. We sing for youth groups and the youth pastors are really encouraged. First of all, we see tons of kids that are my age, and I’ve had tons of kids come up to me and say, ‘How do I get that passion for God that you guys have? I look up to you guys and your walk with God.’ It’s humbling and encouraging at the same time for us.
As far as youth workers, we’ve got to really inspire youth workers to nurture the gifts in their own youth groups. We’re trying to encourage youth with their dreams. There might be a kid that loves to draw, loves art, writes poetry, love music, or loves speaking—we love to encourage that and see that develop.
Amy: When people think of “worship”, they think of music. Worship can encompass so much more. What are other ways you guys are encouraging worship in other ways, besides music, even though you are obviously involved within the music genre?
Jack: I think that goes back to our main topic of what we’re taking about, which is raising up a generation of worshipers. Does that mean raising up a generation of songwriters or singers? No. It means maybe quite the opposite. Raising up a generation of worshipers means going past songs and past music into living a lifestyle that glorifies God.
Yes, music is amazing and a great way to worship God, but there are so many other ways to worship Him aside from art. Our goal is to help people to find ways to dedicate their whole lives to God and worship in every aspect of their lives. I definitely think there are lots of ways we’ve missed as a Church to worship God.
Matt S.: For us, it’s more of a lifestyle. We try to be the same on the stage, on the bus, or wherever. Worship is definitely living a lifestyle of prayer and being in a relationship with God. I think if you really want to define worship it’s a lifestyle that is trying to be pleasing to God.
Leeland: Worship is anything that’s glorifying God whether that’s praying or hanging out or cleaning up the church after worship or cleaning the toilet—anything that’s glorifying God in your life or in a song is worship. It literally is your whole life devoted to God.
Amy: Leeland here is the youngest in the band and he’s kind of the “leader of the band”. How do you older guys deal with that?
Mike C: We have a good open line of communication and Leeland’s always been good about pushing everything back towards the band and towards us and making it a group thing. We were the ones that made him take the band name ‘Leeland’. He didn’t want it in the beginning, we were just in our youth group back home playing worship and then we started playing other places as ‘The Leeland Mooring Band’.
Amy: So you guys all went to youth group together?
Jake: Jack and Leeland’s parents started a church about five years ago and yeah, so we started in the church. We met Mike at IHOP and Matt went to a church across the street and Jack was the youth pastor. That’s how it started—in youth band.
Jack: Leeland I were brothers and our parents actually started the church, and maybe the people didn’t know that… (Everyone chuckles at him.)
Amy: You were brothers? What are you now?
Jack: Actually you know we did an official separation for purposes of the band. We didn’t want things to get personal, you know? So, yeah, I was actually youth pastor at the time and Leeland started writing all these songs—he was 12 years old! It was a really cool time in our lives because I would get up and preach and Jake would play bass and Leeland would get up and lead worship. It all came about because of our youth ministry. Without our youth ministry, we wouldn’t be here.
Amy: OK, let’s head back towards youth ministry. There are a lot of kids who are pretty talented and write songs. Obviously, Leeland over here is a musical genius, but how do you encourage kids in their craft without crushing their dreams?
Leeland: In the beginning, the songs may not be that great. But one of the biggest things I’ve noticed is that when someone is really, really close to the Lord and when they’re really been seeking God and have an innocent relationship with the Lord, they could be singing ‘Kumbaya’ and the presence of God will come. I’ve been around some places where the person’s voice wasn’t that amazing or they weren’t great with the instrument, but you could just tell that they were so close to the Lord and loved God so much that when they were playing I felt the Lord and felt him stronger than professional musicians.
Keep encouraging kids to write songs and keep writing and to seek after God as they’re writing. That’s the difference between a great song writer and a great worship leader. A great worship leader is so in tune with the Lord that they could be up there singing anything and the presence of God will come.
Amy: A lot of people look up to you guys as a band—both youth and youth workers because the music’s great and the lyrics are real. What do you think is a critical issue in youth workers? What do youth workers need to know?
Jack: I actually worked with youth before I was in the band. One thing I can say as a word of encouragement is to make time to spend with God and for your self. Youth workers are very selfless people, so they don’t have time for themselves.
Leeland: You are selfless and you give and give and give so much you come to the point where you’re tired. But if you devote yourself to the Lord, you are able to keep your dreams alive for your group and your city. A lot of youth workers start out with great dreams, but they lay down their dreams because they’re tired because they don’t seek the Lord and the presence of God.
Youth workers need to say, ‘God, let your presence fill out youth group.’ We can have Playstations and games all day long, and these worldly things don’t edify. They attract people, but they don’t edify. The presence of God is what our churches need to be asking for, that’s when people are changed.
Jack: Games and all those really cool fun lights attracts the kids, but once they’re there, what happens? Where’s the beef? Where’s the meat? Are they going to take something more home than meeting their friends and beating Guitar Hero? I think that’s where the youth workers need to get on their faces before God.
Amy: Youth workers can be guilty of neglecting their families because they think that ministry is the highest calling, but also family is ministry. How do you guys keep the romance alive with your wives?
Jack: Literally, your family is your ministry. It’s amazing that we’re going to minister to all these people, but 20 years from now if our kids aren’t serving God and our wives have been neglected, I don’t really see the point. When we stand before the Lord, he’s going to ask us how we treated our families, how you treat your children and your wife is going to affect many generations to come.
Amy: So, Jack, honestly, what’s it like being Michael W. Smith’s son-in-law?
Jack: They’re an amazing family. He has a reputation of integrity, and he’s put his family first. You can just tell when you spend time with them. He’s been nice to me and hasn’t given me a hard time.
Amy: We’ve been talking about the Michael W. Smith fan cruise. I was like, “It’s going to be 50 year-old ladies and Leeland”. So, really, what was it like?
Jake: It was like a worship conference to me. It was awesome. It wasn’t all 50 year-old peple. There were younger people there and some people brought their kids. We went to Alaska and spent 7-8 days there. It was free food the entire time. Ice cream in the middle of the night. Milk and cookies.
Jack: And we saw whales and that was amazing.
(Random incoherent mumblings from which I could glean, “We drove the ship into an iceberg.” Mel asks, “Did anyone abandon ship?” All of a sudden Leeland grabs the mic to make this announcement.)
Leeland: The blue whale is the biggest thing in the entire world. Its tongue weighs as much an elephant. It weighs 200 tons and its heart is as big as a car. Its tail is as wide as a small aircraft and you could swim in its largest blood vessel.
Amy: Ooo-kay. On that note, anything that you want to say in closing?
Leeland: Keep dreaming for your city and know that God is with you and be encouraged. God is doing something incredible in the hearts of youth today. Keep encouraging your kids to devote their lives to God.
END TRANSMISSION
For more information on Leeland and their current tour “The Altar and the Door” with Casting Crowns, visit the band’s website (LINK: http://www.leelandonline.com). Also remember to check out their latest album, Opposite Way, which released February 26.
Since I wrote the post, “I Wish I Was Beautiful”, I’ve had a lot of interesting comments. In fact, I think it’s the only non-Hannah Montana post that’s generated that much “conversation”. Interestingly enough, when I check out my blog stats to see what search terms people used to find my blog, one that pops up a lot is “beautiful”. In some way, it seems, we are all searching for beauty–some image, some definition, some standard. It’s undeniable–beauty attracts.
Yet a lot of people have mentioned that if I had more self-confidence, I would have a better time meeting guys. I never wrote that post to lament my lack of a boyfriend; I have plenty of other opportunities to do that. I was trying to dive to the heart of an emotion that is common to a lot of women. Even though we spend money coloring our hair, hours putting on make-up, and lots of energy buying clothes, we still don’t feel beautiful. We try to tell ourselves that “it’s what’s inside that counts”, and it should be, but it often doesn’t count. Or at least it doesn’t count enough.
But, really, what does it mean when we say, “it’s what’s inside that counts”? I love the idea of someone falling in love with my character, with my hopes and dreams, with my brain, with my humor, and with my ideas, but I’m not sure anyone ever has. One of my amazing talents is gift wrapping. After having worked for as a gift wrapper at a department store one Christmas season, I can also say I’ve wrapped professionally (or that I’m a professional wrapper…hahaha!) When my roomie wants her gifts wrapped nicely, she comes to me. Not only do I do a stellar job, but I’m fast, efficient, and I know where to stick a bow when I’m done. Sometimes even the crappiest gifts look better if they’re wrapped nicely. Seriously, don’t presents look better when they’re tied up in a pretty package? I think so. Although I’ve gotten some great gifts that were just handed to me in a plastic bag as well. If I was to choose between a nicely wrapped present and something in a plastic bag, I’m going to take the former. Although the plastic bag might entice me, just because I would want to see what was in it. Perhaps the shoddy covering is misleading, and the true gem lies inside.
That probably comes from living life as great gal wrapped in a plastic bag body. But what has been truly fascinating to me is that, not only do other girls (and boys) feel the same way, but that fact that some don’t. In fact, I’ve been encouraged to “show off my stuff” and “grow my confidence” and all kinds of amazing advice (including one e-mail with tips on how to get a guy to buy me a Diet Coke across the room). I’m surprised no one bought me a subscription to EHarmony (yet). What troubles me about this is–I don’t feel that confident.
At times, I’m moderately confident and sassy and yes, these are the times I find guys most responsive. But I don’t feel like that 24/7. In fact, some days I’m lucky to run a brush through my hair and change my clothes. So, how can I be expected to show it off to the world if I’m not feeling it? Should I fake it? If I fake it, won’t that be, uh, fake? Why would I want to attract guys to a fake person, instead of the real me? I mean, do I really have to be something I’m not all the time to be liked, to be loved, to be valued? It somehow seems wrong.
Really, I just need more confidence in who I am, not in myself, but who I am in God. It’s a slow train a’coming, to borrow a phrase from Bob Dylan. I wish I had the fairy god mother of self-esteem just bippity-boppity-boo me into a confident (but not too confident) woman who can light up the room with a smile. Yet I would be missing out on the wonderful and tedious experience of being molded by God into what He wants me to be–not what society, my friends, my parents, or what Mr. Right wants me to be.
I could have all the self-confidence in the world and lost my own soul. I could have all the guys in the room buy me a Diet Coke and still be unhappy. I could be phenomenally beautiful and when I die, still turn to ash. Yet who I was, who I am, and who I will be in God –that’s something that’ll last whether or not Mr. Right comes. But if he does come, he better be prepared to buy me a lot of Diet Cokes to make up for all the time he’s left me a lady-in-waiting.
Mimi from “The Drew Carey Show” was confident, eccentric, and the take charge-type…and she ended up with Drew’s brother, who liked to wear dresses…hmm…
I was only checking my e-mail…honest. You know how web-based e-mail is–tantalizing little articles pop up on the site’s main screen and well, sometimes, you’ve just got to click ‘em. So I did. The topic–how to be irresistible to men.
Let’s face the facts–I’ve never been all that good in the dating/love department and I am turning 28 next week. Frankly, I need all the help I can get. According to this article based on the book Simply Irresistible by Ellen T. While, here’s how to be irresistibly you (with colorful commentary by yours truly).
1. Exude confidence (or fake it if you don’t have any. Always start relationships off pretending to be more than you really are or just be confident in the fact you’re boring).
2. First impressions matter (so don’t blow it)!
3. Wear perfume or “your signature scent.” Interestingly enough, I once heard that guys dig the smell of cotton candy and lavender–try making those your signature scents. No one likes a gal who goes au natural.
4. Be eccentric (translation, “Be an individual in a world of posers”. Although if you’re being individualistic for the sake of being different, isn’t that sort of like being a poser?)
5. “Accentuate the exotic.” Or get a tattoo so you can be more exotic. Whatever works.
6. Grow your hair long…really long, like Rapunzel, so if you’re ever trapped in a tower, a guy can climb up your locks to rescue you. Ever wonder why she didn’t lob off her hair and make a rope to get herself out of the tower?
7. Seduce him with words…use your “bedroom voice”. I’m sure that’s what Delilah did, and look where it got Samson. Ish. They have 900 numbers for that sort of thing.
8. “Make him the center of the universe.” Treat him like a Greek god he thinks he is. Uh…barf.
9. Be brilliant in conversation. I’m not sure if you use this tip in conjunction with #7, but I do believe it would ruin the whole “brilliance of the conversation” thing. I actually like this tip.
10. Get smartitude. Apparently guys like girls in glasses…hmm…maybe I should trash my contacts. I do wear my glasses a lot though.
11. “Set the erotic stage.” Moving right along… (Not until you’ve got a wedding band on my finger, bucko!)
12. Take charge in the bedroom laundry room…like throw some dryer sheets in his load or show him how to fold his socks. Nothing sexier than a lady folding socks!
And unlucky #13…Think more like a man…right.
In conclusion, the tipster writes, “The less you need him, the more irresistible you’ll be.” Am I missing something? Didn’t I just learn to make him the center of my universe and grow my hair long for him and talk to him in my bedroom voice to bait please him? Now all of a sudden I don’t need him anymore? No wonder men think women are so irrational–see, I’m thinking more like a man already.
Because it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m feeling a little romantic (for no apparent reason), I’m going to post one of my fave songs. The music video’s a little freaky, but Sting, a stringed instrument, a unicorn man, and weird architecture, what more do you need out of life? Also, it looks like Sting is the victim of unrequited love…poor guy.
"Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers." Isaac Asimov
Under the Hood
All About Amy
Amy Sondova is a writer specializing in media writing, including interviews and reviews, as well as blogging. Having interviewed over a gazillion of the top musicians, writers, and speakers in the Christian media, Amy has also written countless columns, reviews, and articles on various topics including mental illness, self-injury, working with teenagers, and Christianity. She is currently very involved with her church and her new passion, women's ministry. She lives with BFF Sarah and has a shih tzu named Maddy and a cockatiel named Kylie.
Before you write me off as a 30 year-old spinster with slight feminist sympathies, I want you to know that I still believe in love. I believe in romance and my little girl heart longs for it—just not with a man. I mean, it does, but at the same time I’m still shattered from my mom’s two divorces (read post). I know that godly men exist, love their wives, teach their children about God, and desperately seek to live a life worthy of the Gospel of Christ. I am fortunate to be acquainted with such men. However, I am not intimately involved with any as either a daughter or a lover.
Ladies, when a guy doesn’t call it’s not because he’s too busy or out of town for a mother or in a coma following in a tragic skydiving accident. The truth is this—he’s just not that into you. Or so says bartender Alex (Justin “The Mac Guy” Long) to lovelorn Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) as she tries to make a love match with a man who’s clearly not interested in her. As Gigi navigates the murky waters of singleness and dating, her co-workers Janine (Jennifer Connelly) and Beth (Jennifer Aniston) deal with relationship problems all their own. Add in a very sexy yoga instructor/wanna-be singer named Anna (Scarlett Johannson) and her friend Mary (Drew Barrymore) and you have the female cast of Flower Film’s latest chick flick, 
By Amy Sondova Finally, a book for the single woman about dating—written by a woman who actually goes on dates. Kerri Pomarolli’s 
By Amy Sondova w/ Melissa Brown A best-selling album, a GRAMMY nod and several Dove Award nominations, a new marriage, and the Feb. 26 release of sophomore album,
ound of Melodies.
As far as youth workers, we’ve got to really inspire youth workers to nurture the gifts in their own youth groups. We’re trying to encourage youth with their dreams. There might be a kid that loves to draw, loves art, writes poetry, love music, or loves speaking—we love to encourage that and see that develop.
e you now?
HONK YER HORN