Idol Gives Back Recap

If like me, you found yourself wasting two and a half hours watching mind-numbing entertainment tonight, you just may have been tuned in to Fox’s “American Idol: Idol Gives Back”. To be fair, it was probably a total of half an hour of entertainment, an hour of in-house ads about charitable orgs and celebrities telling us to call 1-866-IDOL-SOMETHING, and at least an hour of commercials. Man, there were a lot of commercial breaks, usually preceded by Ellen DeGeneres or Whoopi Goldberg or a famous sports guy urging the audience to give money.

Miley Cyrus and Billy Crystal did this cute little comedy thing, followed by Miley belting out a song. Later in the evening, Miley gave another performance, which would have made Hannah Montana blush. I mean, seriously, she’s a 15 year-old kid who can’t even legally drive in my state and she’s gyrating like a maniac on stage. Then there was Fergie, who was wearing so much eye make-up looked like she was punched in both eyes. She sang with Heart, and they were uncomfortably close while singing. It made me feel uncomfortable. About how as uncomfortable as Simon Cowell must’ve felt when Robin Williams squeezed his butt cheeks (if you didn’t watch the show, I’m sure you are thoroughly confused by now).

I think last year’s show was better–it was funnier (probably because it was co-hosted by Ellen DeGeneres), more dazzling, and less, well, annoying. I mean, I get that we need to give back, donate tons of money, and stop being so selfish. Yet are the only places in the world suffering from poverty and misfortune New Orleans and the continent of Africa? If you watched “Idol Gives Back”, you might think so (of course, Simon Cowell did visit NYC and Miley & Billy Ray went to Kentucky).

DON’T GET ME WRONG. I UNDERSTAND THAT CONDITIONS ARE HORRIBLE, REPULSIVE, AND DISGUSTING–THAT PEOPLE ARE DYING OF DISEASES THAT ARE EASILY PREVENTED AND THAT WE CAN DO THINGS LIKE PROVIDE MEDS, MOSQUITO NETS, AND CLEAN WELLS TO EASE THE SUFFERING. I ALSO KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT DONE HELPING THE PEOPLE OF NEW ORLEANS. YES, THEY NEED LOVE, SUPPORT, AND HELP. I BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD CONTINUE TO HELP THESE TWO PLACES.

But…my goodness, how many celebrities had to go to Africa to drive the message home? Bono (who I respect), Annie Lennox, Daughtry, Forest Whitaker & wife, Alicia Keys. I found Alicia Keys exceptionally annoying wearing an expensive-looking outfit, complete with her hair extensions, telling me to give money. Seriously, don’t these people know what to wear when going to visit the down and out? I had to give props to Reese Witherspoon, who had her hair tied back in a ponytail and wore a simple outfit for her trip to New Orleans. Reese, as always, was excellent. I was also especially touched by Annie Lennox and the ever-wonderful Simon Cowell.

Ironically, it was Simon, who makes $40 million a year who asked people to give “if” they could. How is it that one of the richest guys on the show “gets it”? I really do love Simon Cowell, even if some vulgar comedians accused him of having “man boobs”.

The strangest part of the evening was the finale in which the “Top 8″ sang “Shout to the Lord” with a choir of some sort. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. I mean, I’ve sung “Shout to the Lord” many a’times in church…and there it was on a show called “American Idol”. Bizarre, and yet I feel like God was glorified and praised in the midst of it.

Anyway, I wanted to call and give a few bucks because I thought I might get a chance to talk to Brooke White or David Cook, but I didn’t call. I did vote for Brooke like 200 times last night. I hope she appreciates it. I figured David would slide through so he didn’t need my votes.

I’ll put my money in the jar I keep ’round the house called “The Giving Jar”. I put loose change or random money in there, and once I get $50, I’m going to send the money to an organization like International Justice Mission or Christian Freedom International or Blood: Water Mission…or maybe I’ll just give it to the local soup kitchen down the street.

Here’s an amusing summary of “Idol Gives Back” and Micheal Johns’ elimination–this woman is briliant, so read her column, except about Michael Johns.  I really wasn’t into him, probably because of his wife.

“You’re Eliminated!”

Sorry for the typo on the title–very embarrassing.  You’re supposed to hide typos within the body of the text so no one notices them.  Thanks to my mom for pointing out my glaring error.

I know I said I wasn’t going to watch “American Idol” after the unjust treatment of Josiah Leming and Kyle Ensley. But since Josiah was on “The Ellen Show” and got hooked up a ton of recording equipment (watch clip of Josiah on “Ellen”) , I’ve issued a reprieve. Actually, my best friend watches “Idol” so if I want to spend the evening chilling in the living room with her and the pets, I’ve got to watch “Idol”, too. Fortunately, tonight was the elimination show and I love to see people get sent home in the early stages.

This is what I don’t get about the “Idol” elimination shows–why do they have the contestants sing the song that caused him or her to be cast off Idol Island? I know the final song is the contestant’s chance to perform one last time on the show, but shouldn’t they have a back-up? Or maybe choose a song that was performed well? No, the last time we hear a contestant, we hear the song that was mediocre at best and that’s what we remember. Does anyone else see a problem with that? If it wasn’t that great the first time, it’s not going to be much better when the contestant’s trying to hold back tears.

First to be eliminated was 17 year-old Alexandrea Lushington, who did a rendition of “If You Leave Me Now” by Chicago. Her performance wasn’t spot-on, but what does a 17 year-old teen know about 70′s music anyway? Most don’t. Randy told Alexandrea that it was the wrong song for her, but I disagree. Choosing a classic Chicago song is never wrong. Plus, she is one of the best dressers in the whole lot of gals and pretty darn talented.

The next girl on the chopping block was Alaina Whitaker, a rather cute 16 year-old who performed “Hopelessy Devoted to You” from Grease. She was adorable, even though Simon thought she was dressed matronly. She got axed, yet Kady Malloy was allowed to stay. The girls are practically twins, but I don’t like Kady. Whenever she’s on-screen, I yelled, “Get over yourself!” Her “confidence” comes across as snottiness, and alienates me (and Sarah and my dogs).

Kady’s not the only girl that needs to go. Amanda Overmeyer, the husky-voiced Harley-riding nurse, isn’t one of my favorites. I want to like her because is so interesting, but I just can’t get into her. Her voice makes me want to wretch, and her hair (especially when she performed on Wednesday) reminded me of Ursula the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid. I could be mistaken, but “American Idol” contestants shouldn’t conjure up images of Disney villains. Asia’h irks me. It’s an unfounded irk. But I think the outfit she wore Wednesday was a throw-back from one of Paula Abdul’s early 90′s videos. I didn’t know if she was going to sing or on her way to her hectic job at the office.

First to go was Jason Yeager. I have no idea what he sang. All I could focus on was the random blond streak on the front of his head. I ponder why on earth someone would choose to put one little blond spot in his hair, and if it was naturally occuring, why he didn’t dye it to match the rest of his hair. It’s probably there to make him look “cool”. I had a Ken doll with a random blond spot on his hair because that was the look in 1990 when New Kids on the Block ruled my heart. Definitely a dated look. I felt bad about being so offended by his hair when I saw that his favorite “quote” is “Jeremiah 29:11″ on the “American Idol”. Then there was Robby, who massacred the song “Hot Blooded”. He was dressed in a skull shirt with a skull handkerchief on his head–I wandered if the rest of his pirate crew was going to show up and lay siege to the “American Idol” stage.

Before you think I’m an overly critical whiner (which I probably am), there are two contestants who I feel are amazing–Brooke White and David Achulela. Brooke has an ethereal quality of sunshine and light. Watching her sing just warms the cockles of my heart. The same is true with David. He’s a cute kid–and what a set of pipes for a 16 year-old. Despite what Simon, Paula, and Randy say, I think these these are the two to beat.

But what do I know? I wanted Sanjaya to win. Just kidding.