Tag Archives: Church

She Is Beloved

21 Jun

If I ever did get a tattoo, it would say, “Beloved.”

So I’ve been busy, and I actually mean it!  No, not languishing away on my couch the victim of depression or hiding in bed because of anxiety, not even my formerly broken/still healing foot is holding me back…all that much anyway.  I’m busy in the Lord, which is so much better than being busy for busyness’ sake.

When I started going to Bethany Church in November, I never knew how it would transform my life–not only locking me into community with God’s people, but giving my sad life more purpose than it has felt  in years, than it’s had since I left the church in fall 2004. 

Oh, I’ve tried to pursue other interests, passions, and loves away from the Church, but they’ve all fallen short.  Yet some sustained me for a while, yet nothing truly satisfied.  I was spiritually dehydrated, emotionally broken, and physically falling apart because I held onto bitterness, unforgiveness, and oh, how I raged against God!  I rejected the arms of the One who longed to provide me comfort.  It may not have changed my circumstances; it would have changed my response to those hardships.  Still, God is picking up all the broken pieces, gathering them into His heart, and using them for His glory.  I love a God who can make beauty rise from the ashes.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for years know how I longed for community, yet made excuses for why I couldn’t go to church.  Believe me, the horrible panic attacks upon entering a church building didn’t help.  I want you to know that I understand those of you who have given up on church.  I know what it’s like to sleep until noon on Sunday mornings and feel a small pang of guilt for not going to church because it seems like the “right” thing to do. (All the while Keith Green’s lyric, “Jesus rose from the dead and you can’t even get out of bed,” played in my head.) I know you’ve been hurt, scarred, and the last place you want to go on Sunday is to church.

Go anyway.

And if you’re just not ready, know that God will come find you, His little lost lamb.  He will come to you, cradle you in His loving arms, and led you back to the flock.  I am praying for you, beloved, even if I don’t know your name.  I am praying for you because God knows Your name, for it is engraved on His palms. (If you want me to personally pray for you or encourage you, please shoot me an email.)

He is calling your name, “beloved.” Not only are you precious to the heart of God, but so is His Beloved Bride, the Church.  I am beloved.  You are beloved.  And she is beloved as well. 

Hear His voice, respond to His call, and come home!  The door is always open and our light will never burn out, for We are the Church, the Beloved Bride of Christ.

We are the beloved ones!

Amy’s NoteI am writing this to myself as much as I am writing it to you because I want to remember why I need my church, fellowship, and other Christians with which to “do life.”  If you want to pray for me, please ask God to protect my little heart and strengthen my spirit, that I may be used as a conduit for His glory and honor and renown.  Thank you, faithful prayer warriors! 

Book Review:: Mere Churchianity by Michael Spencer

25 Feb

In his book, Mere Churchianity, Michael Spencer asks a question that has been rattling around my brain for days now: If I were to spend three years with Jesus, what kind of person would I be?  Spencer argues that the disciples who followed Jesus had their worldviews, especially about God, rocked again and again by God-in-the-flesh, Jesus.  He writes, “Jesus wouldn’t leave their ideas of God alone until he was their idea of God.” Such is the start of the argument that Spencer makes for Jesus-shaped spirituality.

And it’s an argument that I liked.  Instead of choosing one group as the Christian cultural elite, Spencer goes after the whole establishment.  He wants to break down the ideas of the modern church and follow what he calls “Jesus-shaped spirituality.” This spirituality is Jesus, having a genuine experience of God, and figuring out how a life gets transformed.  Sounds simple, right?  Then why aren’t churches in the United States doing just that, Spencer asks.

Mere Churchianity is a response to those disgusted with church, but who desperately want to find God.  He says that this book is for those ready to walk out the door, or to those who have already left.  However, this book is really for anyone who wants to change the status quo and who feels that God has a deeper plan for the church.  Really, it is getting beyond phony smiles and pat answers, to the grimy mire of where people really live, where Jesus really ministered.

Instead of coming across as a know-it-all, Spencer eagerly admits his own shortcomings as a pastor and shares a lot of stories that illustrate his points.  Most of all, Spencer points people to Jesus.  His message is not to look at the institution of church, other people, but to Jesus Himself if you want to know who God really is, if you want to have a spirituality shaped by God, not by man.

Spencer, known to many though his website InternetMonk.com, passed away last April after a long fight with cancer.  Fortunately, his words still live on in his website and in this book, Mere Churchianity.

Download and read the first chapter of Mere Churchianity by Michael Spencer.

*With thanks to WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for my review copy of this book.*




Book Review:: Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson

7 Sep

“What is one thing you feel you can’t say in church?”  It’s a question author Anne Jackson posed on her blog, receiving a worldwide response.  Readers mailed hundreds of confessions, some artistic, some simply written on index cards to Jackson who cataloged the responses on PermissionToSpeakFreely.com.  Jackson uses these artistic avowals along with essays and poetry in her astounding new book, Permission to Speak Freely.

In the introduction, Jackson outlines her purpose for putting together Permission to Speak Freely; she wants to let others know they are not alone in their secrets.  She is also clear that her intention is not to malign the church, but rather to allow broken hearts to express their woundedness.  In the end, the author desires readers to find the irresistible hope rooted in God.

Since Anne Jackson is one of my favorite bloggers, it was with eager expectation I began to read Permission to Speak Freely, which is also like an essay-guided PostSecret book, but better!  Incorporating telling art and poetry into her lush writing, Jackson produces her own mosaic masterpiece with the glass shards of her own story.  Admitting her past and present struggles with mental illness, pornography, and drug addiction, Jackson offers the readers freedom to admit their own shameful secrets, first in their minds and then to close friends, small groups, or even PermissionToSpeakFreely.com.

While this book could have easily fallen into an art niche or essay niche, it’s not that kind of book.  In fact, the infusion of Scripture, art, essay, and poetry make this a book that is a treasure, both visually and intellectually.  At times, this book is challenging because readers are meant to wrestle with this book.

Permission to Speak Freely has changed me as a person.  So many books about Christian freedom come from the perspective of male authors, the fact that Anne Jackson is a woman immediately made me more receptive to her message.  And because she is a woman, I believe that her struggles resonate with me in a deeper way, which is not to say that she is not massively appealing to both genders.  Her book is for everyone and really should be read by everyone.  And I do mean everyone, though I fear some may not be ready for the freedom Jackson offers Christians.

Thank you, Anne, for having the chutzpah to write this marvelous book!

Amy’s Grade:: A

**Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”**

God’s Love Song:: “Hard to Say I’m Sorry” by Chicago

31 Aug

It was not until “Hard to Say I’m Sorry” by Chicago started playing on the radio that I felt the darkness flooding my world start to lift.  As I absently sang along on my drive home from Hobby Lobby, the words never seemed so clear.  I wasn’t breaking up with a person; I was breaking up with my church.

And I confused that with breaking up with the Church and with God; neither of which I was kicking to the curb.

In case you’ve never heard Chicago’s “Hard to Say I’m Sorry” (Shame on you!), I’ve included an incredibly retro video here, which makes me laugh and sort of ruins the seriousness of this post::

“Hold me now, I really want to tell you I’m sorry, I can never let go…”

The lyrics rang through my head and I started crying.  Not just because it’s hard to say “I’m sorry,” not because my now ex-church didn’t say “I’m sorry,” but because I felt God saying “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sorry for something *He* did being flawless and perfect; He was sorry for what happened to me, for the pain I felt.  I felt a gentle whisper in my soul, “It’s hard for them to say I’m sorry, but I’m so sorry.  I feel your pain and I’m holding Your broken heart in My hands.”

“I couldn’t stand to be kept away, just for the day, from your body…”

Clearly, Peter Cetera and the gang had different intentions for this lyric, but I thought about the Body of Christ and how the Church has been supporting me during my recent disappointment with my break-up from church.  And how the Church will support me as I seek out a new church home because God made it clear I should not stay.

It seems silly that a Chicago song could stir such revelation, such a knowing of God’s love, but then again, whenever I see a hawk, I also hear God whispering, “I love you.  I see you.” Being the Lord of all creation, I suppose He has a right to communicate His message however He sees fit—through the Bible or from an 80’s song about how it’s hard to apologize.

The Church is a Hospital, Part 2

30 Apr

In my first “The Church is a Hospital” post, I talked about how the church should function as a hospital, but often does not.  I also introduced you to my friend, who was treated poorly by the church “triage” team.  While the church as an institution got it wrong, the Church as a people surrounded my friend with the love of God.  But sometimes the church gets it right.

My friend, while being initially mistreated by the triage team at a local church-hospital, found much support in senior staff members, who listened to her, prayed for her, and supported her as she continues through her difficult time.  The time these pastors, these shepherds, took with my friend impressed me so much that I decided to give this church a visit.  My heart, so broken and hardened in places, yearned for the closeness of God’s people and corporate worship.  Still, I was afraid.

After abandoning church (but not my faith in God) altogether in 2004, I developed a major fear of the church.  It was so bad that even walking in a church would cause major anxiety, usually developing into a panic attack.  I remember attending a wedding at my old church a year later, and I was choking back tears as my mother’s friends were united in holy matrimony.  Fortunately, one is allowed to cry at weddings, but I was trying to swallow my fear.  It was bad.

The Church did a number on me, that’s for sure.  However, I realize that I also did a number on the Church.  The foolish pride of youth, arrogance, and a know-it-all attitude made me just as a deadly a viper as the many I despised.  It took me years to realize that I was part of the problem.  Of course God could not advance someone who was not humbled before Him.  He had to bring me to my knees to show me how desperately I needed the Church.

So this past Sunday, I visited my old church, where I am still a member.  I also attended this church on Christmas Eve and Easter Sunday with my mother.  (When did I become a C & E churchgoer?) If you put two and two together, you will remember that this church is the one that proudly displayed “The Church is a Hospital” on the back of their church bulletin.

And let me tell you that this church is a hospital, and it is also the hospital that has been treating my emotionally bruised and battered friend.  This church is a hospital.  All along I hoped it would be the church I knew it once was, I hoped its people would come along side my friend, and secretly I hoped I could believe in the Church as a whole again.  I was not disappointed.

What I didn’t realize was this—how the church-hospital’s actions would affect my own withered heart.  The Cardiologist (God) reached down and massaged my hard heart back to life.  I started crying as the pastor prayed for those in the congregation going through rough times.  I knew the sermon was one I needed to hear.  I knew the songs were ones I needed to sing.  I knew the church I left so many years ago was home.

The church-hospital is effective when it functions properly.  Even when one of its hospital staff falls short, the rest of the treatment team is there to cover his weakness with grace (and as a fellow Christian, should we not offer this person grace?)  It’s a funny thing though.  I sought help for my friend and found healing myself.  I guess I don’t have to live my life in the morgue of the church-hospital anymore.

I also want to mention a new organization called Throw Mountains, which is a group of authors/speakers making a case for 20/30-somethings to give the church another chance.  Sarah Cunningham, author of Picking Dandelions [read my review of her book] is one of the ladies heading up the effort.  Check ‘em out at ThrowMountains.com.

Note: This was cross-published on AtypicalMusings.com.

The Church is a Hospital

17 Apr

Recently, I attended a local church. As I read the bulletin, I noticed a mission statement of sorts on the back that started out stating, “The church is a hospital.” Immediately, I wondered if the mission statement was inspired by the late Mike Yaconelli who wrote in Messy Spirituality, “The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.” The church is a hospital…hmm…. Sadly, often times I think of it as a morgue.

I am asking God to help transform my mind from this dour way of thinking. I mean, we all know the Church has her problems, right? Obviously! Because she is composed of flawed people made perfect by a righteous Bride Groom. Still, that does not mean the Church can get away with shirking her responsibility either. “Sorry, I’m sinful” just doesn’t cut it.

Now I don’t recommend this, but wouldn’t it be interesting if we could rate the care programs at churches the way we rate hospitals? For example, Lehigh Valley Hospital rates high in heart and cancer care, while St. Luke’s is known for its ever-changing technologies. So, I imagine I would choose LVH if I needed a heart transplant and St Luke’s if I needed, uh, something cutting edge. Should we choose churches the same way?

It seems to me that all churches have their strengths and weaknesses, but they should all be about the business of heart care because it seems that Jesus was always about the business of heart care. Why, then, do so many churches seem to sacrifice the heart in sake of the law? For example, why ignore the needs of unwed pregnant teens when Jesus’ own mother was an unwed pregnant teen? (Shout out to TastyFaith.com!) Or why do women continue to live in abusive situations because verbal, spiritual, physical, financial, and sexual abuse are not “biblical” grounds for divorce? (Don’t worry, I have a ton to say on these issues in coming weeks.)

Yes, teens shouldn’t get pregnant and marriages shouldn’t end in divorce, but guess what? That’s life here on planet Earth. I think if the Church can get off with imperfection, her people should be doubly excused. And anyway, isn’t it our sins that drive our souls to the E.R’s of the church-hospital? Isn’t it when we are at the very end of ourselves that we often come crawling to God and out of desperation we go back to church? I think so.

Someone I love dearly was recently treated poorly by a member of the triage team at a local church-hospital. I kept thinking to myself, “The church is a hospital. They have to help my friend. She will not make it without them.” Unfortunately, the church as a institution came up short…again. But the church as a people (especially in the form of other women) have been tremendously supportive. I hope one day the institution will catch up with her people because that’s where disillusionment begins and ends.

The church is a hospital for everyone, not just sinners, because sometimes the saved take it in the heart. And sometimes the Church shoots her wounded.

[This was also posted on Atypical Musings.]

Hitchhiking with ASBO Jesus Founder Jon Birch

6 Sep

All cartoons are courtesy of ASBO Jesus’ Jon Birch.  Click on the image to view the cartoon in full, and check out all of Jon’s work at http://asbojesus.wordpress.com.

By Amy Sondova ASBO Jesus is a phenomenon not even founder Jon Birch saw coming.  His site speaks about controversial issues in the church such as female pastors, cutting, abuse, but Birch uses few words—he lets his cartoons tell the story.  And just because they’re animated doesn’t mean they’re so easily dismissed.  Millions flock to The Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus each week to check out the latest cartoons, comment on social issues, and find encouragement in the community.  Jon, who lives across the pond (that is, in Great Britain) took time out of his work to do a Q&A via e-mail.

Not everyone is familiar with ASBO Jesus, what exactly is your site about?

It’s a blog where I put up cartoons on issues of faith and the church. Sometimes satirical, sometimes empathetic, sometimes ridiculous. Over time, quite a community has grown, so I’ve used the cartoons to stimulate discussion. The purpose of the site is to say things, or bring things up for debate or thought which are often thought yet seldom said (at least not in public) by people of faith. Having said that, the site is open to people who have lost faith, or are still working it all out (Aren’t we all?)

ASBO, itself, is a British term for “anti-social behavior disorder”–why use this term in conjunction with your cartoons?

It was my wife, Clare, who put the two words ‘ASBO’ and ‘Jesus’ together to make a title for the blog. It came out of an interesting conversation we were having about ‘if Jesus were alive today, in our culture, would He be given an ASBO’.  We concluded, rightly or wrongly, that He probably would. It seemed to us that He was killed for being what the religious authorities and others deemed ‘troublesome’, so at the very least He would be given an ASBO.

Also, in Britain, ASBO’s generally end up being given to those on the margins of society.  Jesus very much identified with those on the margins, so the name ‘ASBO Jesus’ seemed to me to fit the bill beautifully. It is quite possible that the intriguing, possibly controversial, name is one reason why the blog started to get a lot of hits. That is more of a happy accident than a pre-planned thing.

Where did you get the inspiration for the site?

I did cartoon # 1 just shortly after my mother died. Still shocked and beginning the process of coming to terms with a profound (and very sudden) loss, I started cartooning. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it was a welcome distraction, perhaps it was the need to try and say meaningful things.

I do know my mother understood the empathy I have for the marginalized and in the last conversation I had with her she encouraged me to carry on being myself, to carry on loving those who others might judge. These things are hard to put into words, but she told me of a wonderful gay doctor who had been very good with her.  She smiled and said, “You would have loved him.”  My mum was cool; I’d like my life to do her justice.

There are, of course, many inspirations for the cartoons I do.  Not least, these days, the conversations that go on at ASBO. Sometimes it is the conversation that sets the agenda for the next cartoon. I hope my site is a service.  I hope it is edifying and helpful. I also hope people find it funny… at least sometimes; I do.

How have your cartoons made a difference in how Christians think?

Wow… I don’t know for sure that they have. I do know that some cartoons have made people think though, because people have said as much on the blog. I would like to think that sometimes the cartoons enable people to think again about things that maybe they thought they knew. There are some subjects that some people have entrenched views on, but hopefully through the cartoons and through the ensuing conversations; there is a way for them to at least hear another view.

I’d like us all to think again really, about all sorts of things. We are, none of us, always right.  We are, all of us, sometimes wrong.  I am no expert and I don’t pretend to be. My own cartoons often lead me to ponder things that I otherwise might not.  I am often learning from the insights and experiences of people who contribute to the comments on the site. Without their input the cartoons would have dried up a while ago.

Why do you think your site has become so popular?

I think it is, in part, because from the start I tried to make sure I joined in with the conversation. To begin with, in the blog’s infancy, I would simply say ‘thank you’ if someone left a comment. Later, when people got brave and started offering views, I would try to engage. Essentially, I like people; and I hoped to make sure people who took time out to respond would feel appreciated.

As I said before, the name of the site has in some ways helped. Also, I have found that very often, people will use an ASBO cartoon on their own blog and link to my site; this has generated a lot of traffic. There are a few very well known bloggers who have referenced my work or used a cartoon; this has flagged the site up for people’s attention.

I also think that people return because they are interested in the comments left. Some of the conversations have been truly inspiring and involving. I am amazed at the willingness of some, to be honest and soul searching. Somehow, although the blog is open to anyone, it seems to have become a safe space to debate, try out arguments, empathize and also to have some fun. Long may it remain that way.

Sometimes though, I think that people enjoy a laugh in the day. ASBO sometimes provides that. Life is often intense and we all need some relief.

What cartoon has been the most controversial to date?

Cartoons on sexuality always stir things up. Sex sells, even in Christian circles. It is interesting that a cartoon which is controversial to one person isn’t at all controversial to another. The one that brought the most comments was a cartoon about gay partnership and marriage. This was too much for some. Although the cartoon was not prescriptive, it was done to elicit a response. However, I have to say, that the majority of the conversation was positive and fruitful. There are some lovely people in the ASBO community who I can trust to set the tone of the conversation. ASBO has become for me as much about their personalities as it is my own.

Christ was controversial. A cartoon site which searches for Christ is bound to be controversial. Some subjects are controversial simply because we are afraid to discuss them. I find this a little ridiculous and try to be open to bringing up anything which I think ought to have an airing. Some of the stronger (maybe not even funny) cartoons I have done are the ones I am most pleased with. A cartoon on self-harming, which I was prompted to do, is still my favourite. I did a lot of heart searching before I posted it, but again, the conversation that ensued told me that this was a subject that really needed to be out of the closet, I was pleased and amazed by the warmth and sensitivity of many of the comments.

When you raise a subject like this, you will probably be affecting those for whom this is an issue. I would only want to have a positive impact; I would want to help the situation, not worsen it. I hope that is what happened. I can only judge by what I read in the comments, but given the amazing variety of people who commented and the things they said, I think it was helpful. I am very pleased I managed to pluck up the courage to post it.

It seems that drawings can communicate a very real message in a less intimidating way, why is this?

Maybe ‘a picture paints a thousand words.’ Maybe they are a bit like parables. Maybe the simple characters are appealing in some way. Maybe it makes a refreshing change for people. Maybe it invites comment and response. I am not entirely sure. I do think though, that a simple picture can encapsulate a lot. Certainly in Britain, there is a strong tradition of cartoon satire; it is a well understood medium of communication. Also, even a simple cartoon can draw you into its world, so you get a different way in to thinking about the world we live in. these are just some thoughts; I don’t really know.

I’m sure there are some days when you get a ton of complaints and you just feel down, why do you keep going?

I’ve not had tons, but I’ve had a few. Complaints don’t really worry me, provided people are complaining about what I’ve said and not what they thought I said. I’m making comments on things, so I guess I’m fair game for those who disapprove. I’ve not censored any comments (except spam). Someone once wrote something like ‘why don’t you do something with your life, like kill yourself or die or something?’ I didn’t even censor that. It’s there still. That sort of silliness is very rare; you can’t let that sort of thing bother you. I do sometimes get down, but that’s me, it’s never anything to do with ABS Jesus. To be honest, I’m my biggest critic.

When you’re not making the ASBO Jesus cartoons, what else do you do?

I make a lot of animations, produce a lot of music and run proost.co.uk with my partner in Christian crime, Jonny Baker. I’m a trustee of a Christian youth charity in my home town. I’m about to start work on a graphic novel with a very good writer friend of mine. And I’m trying to get our home sorted out… it’s looking a little less like a building site than it was a while ago. I have a wonderful wife called Clare, a scruffy dog called Gromit, and am blessed with wonderful friends and family. Right now I’m finishing off a few animations and preparing stuff for Greenbelt (a big UK festival)… I have the Olympics on in the background as I work.

Print copy of interview.

Photo Essay:: Three Crosses

21 Jul

“Three Crosses” by Dirk Bolle

Dirk Bolle is the nerd in residence at Christian Assembly in Los Angeles. Besides God, Dirk can’t live without Macs and coffee. He also enjoys taking photographs of his landlord’s cats and watching “Cops” and “M*A*S*H”. In his former life, Dirk was on the original cast of “Square Pegs” as that guy who did that thing. Visit his blog to see more from the world of Dirk.

The Girl I Was

22 Apr

By Amy Sondova I once knew a little girl who believed that her dreams were within her grasp. All she had to do was imagine a better tomorrow and it would be so. A dandelion was a beautiful flower and an animal was a magical friend. Off she would romp through her neighborhood greeting everyone who crossed her path, eager to chat with anyone who would give her time.

Chalk drawings on the sidewalk were her special form of art along with painting and drawing. Some days she dreamed of being an artist other days a veterinarian and still other days, it was beyond even her imagination. Her backyard was a far-off land of adventure in which she conducted archaeological digs for dinosaur bones and buried treasure, form secret clubs for girls only (but the boys were eventually allowed to join), and lie out on the grass to stare at the clouds above.

She loved to go to church and wear pretty dresses (although she could have done without the restrictive tights). Coloring pictures of Jesus and friends was always a delight as well as putting money in the offering plate. She loved to sing songs about God, even pretending to read the hymnal when she had not yet learned to read.

Then came children’s church filled with Bible lessons that caused wide-eyed wonder among the crowd. One of the best teachers was a woman named Helen who was a missionary in Haiti. While on furlough, she told stories about her work on the mission field, showed slides of the children there, taught songs in other languages, and let them touch her special Haitian crafts. Jim Elliot, Corrie ten Boom, Amy Carmichael—their lives all came alive for one hour one Sunday a month during children’s church.

As church came to a close, this little girl and the other children would run to “the candy man” to get a hug and a tasty piece of hard candy. It wasn’t just the candy that made him special; it was the horrible polyester suits and the big smile he wore. The candy man was one of a kind. There was also Pappy who didn’t give out candy, but showered the kids in love and attention. When he died, Sunday mornings lost a little bit of their magic.

Life lost a little bit of its magic as she grew. Chalk became something the teachers used to write on blackboards, not a fun drawing medium. Church became less about wide-eyed wonder and more about memorizing the Bible and learning the right words to say to help save friends from the fiery clutches of hell. The candy man died and there was no one to replace him. Helen the missionary went back to Haiti for a few years, but the story of Jim Elliot never ceased to amaze the girl.

The backyard became a place to cry out to God as the chilly air caused goose bumps on her arms. She would stare at the moon and stars marveling at their glory. The universe seemed quiet when the sun set and the moon appeared. It was as if all was as it should be, and yet she felt unrest. Suddenly, church wasn’t a place of refuge, but one of horror–one that held the dark, shameful secrets of her childhood. School wasn’t much better as she felt like she never quite fit in. The razor strayed on her wrist starting a lifelong struggle with self-injury.

It occurred to her that God was not kind, not just, and maybe not even real. Yet she couldn’t deny Him, try as she might. She believed too deeply and imagined far too much. She knew He loved her, even when she believed that He just didn’t like her. As a teenager, she thought her prayers fell on deaf ears. It would be years later until she could look back and recognize the blind faith she once had, faith that was so precious to the heart of God–faith that’s jaded and imperfect now, but yet grows every stronger.

Even now when the world is filled with horror, when life breaks her heart, when people seem less than images of deity, she looks back. Pulling from deep inside her, she remembers the smell of a summer morning after a midnight thunderstorm, the earth was fresh and wet and she knew she would find a dinosaur bone that day. The feel of chalk in her pudgy hands as she wrote, “I love Jesus” across the public sidewalk is a comfort. She remembers the hot macadam under her bare feet as she romped about cradling her best friend, a guinea pig named Darcy, to visit all the neighbors.

She had a relentless faith in God, in people, and in herself and though her tender heart filled with sorrow at times, soon her joy melted that sorrow. She was a little girl who thought and dreamed that anything, absolutely anything, was possible. Now that girl is a woman in her late 20’s wondering, hoping, praying, and believing she is a still a bit of the girl she once was. She wonders if it is possible to open wide her heart to the limitless possibilities of God once again, to believe as she once did, and if she can ever reclaim her child-like faith which made her heart burn so brightly. She will never be that child again, but the girl she was once deeply influences the woman that she is today.

Print copy of scribble.

The Bible Still #1 for Americans

9 Apr

Growing up in church, I’ve always heard the Bible given promotional tag lines to make it sound more appealing to non-readers– “It’s the best-selling book of all time” and “You need your basic instructions before leaving earth”. I’m fairly certain that these statements only appeal to people who already love the Bible. Then again, I love the Bible and I disdain reducing the Word of God to a P.R. campaign.

Yet the Bible is the top choice for people across demographics according to the results of a recent Reuters study (read article). While I enjoy other books on the list of the 10 books Americans love most, I have to say that I’m pleasantly surprised the Bible is numero uno. When asked the question, “What is your favorite book?” I generally answer, “Philip Yancey’s The Jesus I Never Knew, Henri Nouwen’s The Inner Voice of Love, and the Harry Potter books.” I used to say the Bible when I was in high school, but it seemed so cliche. Of course I love the Bible, I reasoned, I’m a Christians and all Christians love the Bible.

Not only do Christians love the Bibles, lots of people do–for its rich history of the Jews, its moral lessons, and the enigmatic figure of Jesus Christ. Full of narrative, poetry, history, and theology, is it any wonder that the Bible fascinates so many?

Yet I realize that the Bible really is my favorite book. When I feel hopeless, I turn to Psalm 46. As part of my discipline as a Christian, I read the Bible to hear from God. I look for answers to questions (and end up with more questions. When I misplace my Bible (it usually falls under my chair or bed), I feel panicked. I need my Bible with my notes, my highlights, and my familiar cover which I decorated with pictures using clear mailing tape. I take it on trips with me and hold it over my heart when my eyes are too full of tears to read. No book has ever provided as much comfort for me as the Bible. It’s a power that far transcends the book as it is the living, inerrant Word of God, the breath of life, the one thing that is true.

Here’s America’s Top 10:

1. The Bible

2. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell (I could never get into it.)

3. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (Love ‘em! Especially the fact that the characters break out into random song so much, which is sadly downplayed in the movies.)

4. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (America’s got taste!)

5. The Stand by Stephen King (King’s a genius, but I’ve not read this book. I do like the purple raven on the cover though. Read about my fascination with ravens.)

6. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (I could not get into this book at all!)

7. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (On my must-read list)

8. Angels & Demons by Dan Brown (Not going to bother)

9. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (never even heard of it)

10. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (Love it!)

Naturally, I know that you are all dying to know why my Top 10 favorite books are…

1. Bible

2. The Jesus I Never Know by Philip Yancey

3. The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen

4. Harry Potter books

5. Dangerous Wonder by Mike Yaconelli

6. Bad Girls of the Bible by Liz Curtis-Higgs

7. Gnomes by Will Huygen

8. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

9. Bunnicula series by James Howe

10. Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

Honorable Mentions: Captivating by John & Stasi Elderedge, Jesusland by Julia Scheeres, Sex God by Rob Bell, The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, Til We Have Faces& A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, Under the Overpass by Mike Yankonski, Wicked by Gregory Maguire, Where is the Mango Princess? By Kathy Crimmins, LIfe: The Movie by Neal Gabler

So what books do you love from America’s Top 10 or My Top 10?

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